Freshman year, Dan and Nick had a whiteboard on their door, past which at least half the unit had to walk several times a day. It was used for a variety of purposes, such as polls like, “Which is better, the iliad or the odyssey,” and “What superpower would you most want to have?” (Note: I just read that as “superpower in the sense of Soviet Russia or the United States”, and “have” in the sense of, “know” in the sense of “what’s another word for ‘intercourse’?” Relations. No, I’m not drunk.), and other suchlike nonsense. Nick was also given to taking suggestive or supposedly suggestive material from it and use it for away messages. This eventually almost immediately spiralled into egregious misuse, as documented below:

• My…are both larger and more powerful than yours…—Nick
• But I believe I have the biggest…—Matt
• My…’s very small.—Matt
• Nick is a bastard.—Matt
• Do you want me to…—Matt
• No. Maybe some other time.—Lev
• You may never again find me so willing…—Matt
• “It’s not nearly as good.”—Nick
• “It satisfies me.”—Lev
• “This started after the eyebrow nose thing.”—Nick
• “Notice, because of all this negative energy, the kettle remains there.”—Matt
• “My ass thanks you.”—Matt
• “Oh, come on. It’s an obvious choice. Extend your ass, don’t extend your ass, extend your ass!”—Chris
• ”...isn’t moaning…”
• “oh, please. Can’t we make an exception for really long…”
• “That’s enormous displacement.”—Matt
• “You definitely do different things with your tongues.”—Nick
• “Come for tech” ”...like a masturbation seminar”—Matt
  

  See also:
  Dan, Nick, Matt, Chris