Chris is:
  1. Nick’s friend.
  2. Fun to argue with.
  3. Owner of a Blowfish
  4. Owner of the material embodiment of a bananaphone
  5. Odd
  6. A Tortured Intellectual
  7. A TWDCR
  8. (Probably) an Anti-Foundationalist.
  9. Nick’s linguistic arch-nemesis
  10. Alleged Inventor of Quantum-Adjusted Determinism Determinism
  11. Stewie Griffin, according to the quiz you’ll find at Family Guy
  12. Occasional glossator
  13. No sleep
  14. Impossible plans for world domination and governance
    1. Including: [Small Countries Theory]
    2. Miscegenation for Peace
    3. Completely useless inventions.
      1. Including: Space Phone
        Chris started a blog about decade ago, back before they were trendy and back before they got their hideous name. He stopped after several years, however, because his radical honesty kept getting him into trouble. Here’s a hint: don’t take your friends’ secrets and post them on the Internet for all to see.
        Chris’ girlfriend is [Kelsey]. She is not currently in [England], at shoeniversity.


    • Chris: Is so. Nick: Is not. Chris: IS NAZI!
    • It might be just us, but it’s not just you. (In reference to: “You need to learn to be coordinated for Jesus Christ so you can get more things done for him.” Nick: “Is it just me, or does that sound incredibly pedophilic?”)
    • Nick: It may be funny, but it’s also retarded. Chris: I guess sometimes that’s the price you pay for being funny.
    • “There’s two kinds of linguistics: Interesting linguistics, and true linguistics.”
    • Why do I have goats on my mind now?
    • Goats are the new black.
      h2. See also:
      Chris-Compliant, Batman Amirault, Dan, Small Countries Theory, [IPP], Passive-ication, Todo playground