See Ultimate Cast and Three Brothers
Elmo Crmley (4:02:51 PM): But you know what I’m all hot and bothered for? Garden State.
wackyslav (4:03:04 PM): what’s that?
Elmo Crmley (4:03:11 PM): IMDB it. And watch the trailer.
wackyslav (4:03:33 PM): Meh. Busy with exposition here.
Elmo Crmley (4:03:39 PM): No, really.
wackyslav (4:03:45 PM): Why yes; he really ought to take his shoes and socks off.
Elmo Crmley (4:03:48 PM): It’s high-art from JD of Scrubs.
wackyslav (4:03:55 PM): interesting.
Elmo Crmley (4:03:57 PM): Involving Ian Holms.
Elmo Crmley (4:04:02 PM): And Natalie Portman.
wackyslav (4:04:06 PM): multiple ones?
Elmo Crmley (4:04:17 PM): No, just the one.
Elmo Crmley (4:04:32 PM): But I’ve decided he deserves referring to in the plural.
wackyslav (4:04:42 PM): I’d say “Ians Holm.”
Elmo Crmley (4:04:44 PM): You know what we need? A fractional number.
Elmo Crmley (4:05:08 PM): Single, dual, plural. Fuck that. I want halfth.
wackyslav (4:05:27 PM): semi?
Elmo Crmley (4:05:39 PM): Sure.
wackyslav (4:05:52 PM): well, sesqui- means 3/2.
Elmo Crmley (4:05:54 PM): Oh, did I ever make you read “The Deceivers”?
wackyslav (4:05:58 PM): no.
Elmo Crmley (4:06:21 PM): Ah, too bad. There’s a character named “Demi”, and Bester goes buck wild with the numerical implications.
Elmo Crmley (4:06:28 PM): Implicatons flying all over the place.
wackyslav (4:06:36 PM): ah.
wackyslav (4:08:24 PM):
wackyslav (4:08:34 PM): Quasqui- means “5/4.”
Elmo Crmley (4:08:58 PM): Cool.
wackyslav (4:09:10 PM): but it’s invented. Latin “sesqui-” actually referred to the ratio of 3/2.
wackyslav (4:09:24 PM): Damn damn damn, I miss the OED.
Elmo Crmley (4:09:37 PM): What are you talking about? You should still have access.
wackyslav (4:09:49 PM): really?
wackyslav (4:10:05 PM): also, did you get the OEDILF thing I sent?
Elmo Crmley (4:10:09 PM): Dan said your email accounts won’t expire until august, so I assume…
Elmo Crmley (4:10:14 PM): Yes, I did, and yes, I had.
Elmo Crmley (4:10:33 PM): (And I fully expect mine to expire then, too)
wackyslav (4:10:41 PM): really.
Elmo Crmley (4:10:47 PM): I still have access.
wackyslav (4:10:57 PM): Probably not unwise to prepare for that eventuality, anyway.
Elmo Crmley (4:11:06 PM): Indeed.
Elmo Crmley (4:11:25 PM): I’m trying to decide whether to get everyone to go over to or hold out for gmail.
wackyslav (4:11:37 PM): yeah. Man, gmail seems nice.
Elmo Crmley (4:11:44 PM): Indeed.
Elmo Crmley (4:12:09 PM): Of course, one of the benefits of having a unique username is I don’t have to worry about getting it first, unlike quite a few
people out there who are scrambling for gmail accounts.
wackyslav (4:12:30 PM): I imagine so.
wackyslav (4:12:37 PM): Likewise for me, I would hope.
Elmo Crmley (4:12:47 PM): Yeah, there can’t be too many wackyslavs out there.
Elmo Crmley (4:12:50 PM): Slavs wacky?
wackyslav (4:12:53 PM): shrugs Not that my actual name is all that common.
Elmo Crmley (4:13:49 PM):
wackyslav (4:14:16 PM): oh, thanks, but I had that up anyway.
Elmo Crmley (4:14:23 PM): Okay. I was just making sure.
wackyslav (4:14:28 PM): I’m waiting for a commercial; the terrorists are closing in.
wackyslav (4:15:31 PM): God, this is Bruce Willis only a few years before HH.
Elmo Crmley (4:16:02 PM): I have to wait until July 30th?
wackyslav (4:16:16 PM): You’ll manage.
Elmo Crmley (4:16:21 PM): ::laughs::
Elmo Crmley (4:22:57 PM): They also have one with words:
wackyslav (4:23:30 PM): no commericals yet. Yay FX. Not like those damn USA bastards.
Elmo Crmley (4:24:01 PM): Hey, don’t talk smack about the people who are bringing us Parker Posey and Adam Goldwidget in Dean Koontz’s Frankenstein.
wackyslav (4:24:27 PM): All I’m saying is that it took three hours to show Con Air.
Elmo Crmley (4:24:37 PM): ::laughs::
wackyslav (4:25:18 PM): Wow, this does look great.
wackyslav (4:26:42 PM): I like the him in front of the wall wearing the samely-patterned shirt.
Elmo Crmley (4:26:51 PM): Yes, that is genius.
wackyslav (4:27:29 PM): The scenes with him sitting really still.
Elmo Crmley (4:27:31 PM): One could never tell that JD from scrubs had this in him.
wackyslav (4:27:50 PM): Oh, and all the ‘are you retarded’ and ‘didn’y you kill yourself?’
wackyslav (4:27:55 PM): is pretty damn good too.
Elmo Crmley (4:27:59 PM): No, that wasn’t me.
wackyslav (4:28:05 PM): I have to wait until July 30th for this?
Elmo Crmley (4:28:09 PM): ::laughs::
wackyslav (4:30:33 PM): Ah, a young Alan Rickman will help see me through this time.
Elmo Crmley (4:30:39 PM): ::laughs::
Elmo Crmley (4:30:48 PM): Alan Rickman is a cure for many ills.
Elmo Crmley (4:30:53 PM): Ooh, he goes on the list.
wackyslav (4:31:00 PM): of?
wackyslav (4:31:09 PM): if it’s moviemakers, damn straight.
Elmo Crmley (4:31:15 PM): List of people that make movies worth seeing.
Elmo Crmley (4:31:22 PM):
wackyslav (4:31:22 PM): Not that he makes movies good, but that he makes movies have good in them.
wackyslav (4:31:25 PM): yeah.
wackyslav (4:32:45 PM): good list.
Elmo Crmley (4:33:09 PM): Now I need to write a program that crawls imdb and find the movies with the highest percentage of these people in them.
wackyslav (4:33:29 PM): yours probably wouldn’t include Dave Foley, but mine might.
wackyslav (4:34:05 PM): ooh, the secondary: male list is a strong one.
Elmo Crmley (4:34:09 PM): No problem. We’ll just specify (Andrew). Primary or secondary?
wackyslav (4:34:37 PM): He might be tertiary, but shrugs I’m very happy with your list as is.
wackyslav (4:34:56 PM): Perhaps Sigourney Weaver, in some sort of secondary fashion.
Elmo Crmley (4:35:06 PM): Ooh! Good point.
wackyslav (4:35:43 PM): Ramis?
Elmo Crmley (4:36:12 PM): Hmm. I don’t know. He’s only good for things with Bill Murr-
Elmo Crmley (4:36:18 PM): Well, Bill Murray goes on the list.
wackyslav (4:36:22 PM): right.
wackyslav (4:36:29 PM): I was leading you in that direction, actually.
wackyslav (4:36:39 PM): ooh, no editing for violence, I see.
wackyslav (4:36:46 PM): Goodbye, back of Mr. Takagi’s head.
wackyslav (4:37:39 PM): Steve Martin?
wackyslav (4:37:42 PM): Or do you hate him?
Elmo Crmley (4:37:51 PM): I think we need to do write…not so much a script, but a pitch for a movie or series of movies (trilogy?) that incorporates all these
Elmo Crmley (4:37:58 PM): No, I like him.
wackyslav (4:38:03 PM): There are certain people I know who either love or hate him, and I can never tell them apart.
wackyslav (4:38:05 PM): Ah, good.
Elmo Crmley (4:38:21 PM): My objection would be that the people on this list so far are people you could put in any movie ever made and they would help,
and that that’s not true of Steve Martin.
Elmo Crmley (4:38:31 PM): Nor would I have said it of Bill Murray prior to Lost in Translation.
wackyslav (4:38:31 PM): I think I’d watch Raul Julia in anything, though I’ve never had the opportunity save Addams Family and Street Fighter.
Elmo Crmley (4:38:35 PM): Yes.
wackyslav (4:38:35 PM): true.
wackyslav (4:38:51 PM): ooh. I’d throw in Molina, too.
Elmo Crmley (4:39:17 PM): ah, good point.
Elmo Crmley (4:39:38 PM): What about Hope Davis? I’ve only seen her in the two things, but she seems delightful.
wackyslav (4:39:52 PM): yeah, she’
wackyslav (4:39:59 PM): s a good one, and better with Dana Ivey.
wackyslav (4:40:03 PM):
wackyslav (4:40:17 PM): Does the second-billed person and the date make any sense?
Elmo Crmley (4:40:43 PM): JOHN CANDY IS DEAD.
Elmo Crmley (4:40:55 PM): Trivia says he recorded his track in the late 90’s.
wackyslav (4:41:00 PM): Indeed.
wackyslav (4:41:07 PM): I just noticed that myself too.
wackyslav (4:41:13 PM): Along with Madeleine Kahn.
wackyslav (4:41:21 PM): Hey, do we have gene Wilder on that list?
Elmo Crmley (4:41:24 PM): Jennifer Love Hewitt-IceT-Jeremy Irons-James Earl Jones-Madeline Kahn
Elmo Crmley (4:41:28 PM): OH MY FUCKING GOD>
Elmo Crmley (4:41:31 PM): EVERYONE is in this movie.
wackyslav (4:41:36 PM): aren’t they?
Elmo Crmley (4:41:37 PM): Henry Winkler and Meryl Streep?
wackyslav (4:41:41 PM): they even let Ted Danson in.
Elmo Crmley (4:41:45 PM): This is even more unlikely than that other thing.
wackyslav (4:42:12 PM): AAAAAAAAAAAA!
Elmo Crmley (4:42:22 PM): Wait, why are several of those people billed as themselves?
Elmo Crmley (4:42:45 PM): This is made up.
wackyslav (4:43:01 PM): hm?
Elmo Crmley (4:43:11 PM): I’m implying this is a joke.
wackyslav (4:43:18 PM): ah.
wackyslav (4:43:45 PM): shrugs
wackyslav (4:44:15 PM):
wackyslav (4:44:26 PM): Look at the “finished off three companies” thing halfway through.
wackyslav (4:44:49 PM): It would be a great story…if true.
Elmo Crmley (4:44:57 PM): All the voices were already recorded back then. Madeleine Kahn and John Candy both contributed voices although only Candy
was dead at the time.
Elmo Crmley (4:45:01 PM): I like the sound of that.
Elmo Crmley (4:45:06 PM): Also, “saught”
Elmo Crmley (4:45:20 PM): Jennifer Love Hewitt was only about 12 when they filmed the live action that bookshelved the animation.
Elmo Crmley (4:45:31 PM): Micheal J Fox puts on a French accent and Demi Moore’s is some kind of crazy German impression.
Elmo Crmley (4:45:34 PM): WHAT??????
wackyslav (4:45:47 PM): yes.
Elmo Crmley (4:46:06 PM): WHAT? WHAT? YEEE-AAH.
wackyslav (4:46:24 PM): OK!
Elmo Crmley (4:46:34 PM): So: Action-comedy structured around the love affair of Christopher Walken and Maura Tierney?
wackyslav (4:46:45 PM): WHAT?
Elmo Crmley (4:46:50 PM): I’m suggesting.
wackyslav (4:47:03 PM): Oh, I thought it existed.
Elmo Crmley (4:47:07 PM): Sadly, no.
wackyslav (4:47:15 PM): Oldman, Rickman, and Walken are long-lost brothers…
Elmo Crmley (4:47:26 PM): They I did just see a movie in which Tierney played a masochistic cop.
wackyslav (4:47:33 PM): wow.
Elmo Crmley (4:47:42 PM): Oldman and Carradine are lovers…
Elmo Crmley (4:47:58 PM): Lili Taylor is the villain who killed the brothers’ father…
Elmo Crmley (4:48:24 PM): Reno, Stormare, Buscemi, and Turturro are the guys they have to fight through to get vengeance.
wackyslav (4:48:52 PM): Stormare and Reno are vaguely European conjoined twins who want to be policemen…
Elmo Crmley (4:48:52 PM): And Bill Murray and Sigourney Weaver do a vaudeville act which temporarily adopts them as they travel through the countryside.
Elmo Crmley (4:49:10 PM): Alfred Molina is a blind pimp/ninja.
Elmo Crmley (4:49:30 PM): Who dies in a climactic battle with Selma Blair and Clea Duvall.
wackyslav (4:49:34 PM): With Felicity Huffman as his main dominatrix.
Elmo Crmley (4:49:48 PM): And she’s in love with Langella.
Elmo Crmley (4:49:54 PM): Who’s a submisive.
wackyslav (4:50:14 PM): But she has Raul Julia the senator tied up in her closet for most of the movie.
Elmo Crmley (4:50:48 PM): Parker Posey and Lena Olin are the lesbian couple that take in the orphaned brothers and raise them as children, while their
retainer Holly Hunter schools them in martial arts.
wackyslav (4:51:18 PM): Michael Caine is the mildly senile widower whom Julia enlists to aid in his many escape attempts.
Elmo Crmley (4:51:24 PM): Dave Foley occurs throughout the movie in different small roles, like Cheech Marin in Dusk ‘till dawn.
wackyslav (4:51:51 PM): Cheech Marin simply plays himself.
Elmo Crmley (4:51:55 PM): and Bonnie Hunt is the nursemaid who keeps Caine in line.
wackyslav (4:52:23 PM): well, clearly this conversation needs saving.
Elmo Crmley (4:52:28 PM): And how!
wackyslav (4:53:03 PM): And, at the end of the movie…
Elmo Crmley (4:53:10 PM): I think the whole movie needs to be revealed as a fever-addled dream in the mind of Harold Ramis.
wackyslav (4:53:33 PM): He then slowly walks up to Jennifer Connelly, who’s standing at the end of a pier.
Elmo Crmley (4:53:37 PM): And then we pan over and see that in his sickbed Tim Burton, Quentin Tarantino, and Sofia coppola are having a three-way

Suggested names:
Ezekial “Zeke” West—Alan Rickman
Isaac West—Oldman
Enoch West—Walken
Dirty Roger—Molina
The Preacher—Langella

prettypithy (5:09:12 AM): Nick.
Elmo Crmley (5:09:17 AM): yes?
prettypithy (5:09:17 AM): I have known you for a long time.
prettypithy (5:09:22 AM): That
prettypithy (5:09:23 AM): is
Elmo Crmley (5:09:23 AM): Intermittently.
prettypithy (5:09:26 AM): THE MOST
prettypithy (5:09:29 AM): BRILLIANT
prettypithy (5:09:36 AM): thing you have every said.
prettypithy (5:09:40 AM): :APPLUASE:
Elmo Crmley (5:09:57 AM): I know.
prettypithy (5:10:26 AM): and morever, I would ust want to coneceptualize
it…fuck the big screen, just publish the script.
prettypithy (5:10:35 AM): With actors names instead of characters
prettypithy (5:10:51 AM): Frank Langella?
prettypithy (5:10:52 AM): Genius.
Elmo Crmley (5:11:09 AM): You can’t have too much Frank Langella.
prettypithy (5:11:11 AM): I mean I knew you were on a character actor role
prettypithy (5:11:18 AM): but the inclusuion of Frank Langella?
prettypithy (5:11:23 AM): You mean buseiness.
prettypithy (5:11:25 AM): I love it!
prettypithy (5:11:49 AM): :appluase again:
prettypithy (5:11:54 AM): :throws rose:
Elmo Crmley (5:11:57 AM): ::sigh:: Too bad it’ll never happen.
prettypithy (5:12:03 AM): :throws BOUQUET:
Elmo Crmley (5:12:12 AM): A nice little trilogy.
prettypithy (5:12:42 AM): You can’t be too sure….come to L.A, do a little
coke, crazy things happen! You might just get the greenlight.
Elmo Crmley (5:13:17 AM): Well, yeah, but by then Walken and Caine would be
dead, and Holly Hunter would be too old, and so forth.
Elmo Crmley (5:13:31 AM): The script is worth considering, however. In the
line of grand in-jokes.
prettypithy (5:13:52 AM): No, things happen fast out here, we’re talkin’
six months.
Elmo Crmley (5:15:18 AM): ::laughs::